mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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