I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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