Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize