I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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