Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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