She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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