using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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