fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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