I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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