What did we do last night that was yellow?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Randomize