This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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