i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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