Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize