hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize