I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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