Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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