I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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