I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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