Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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