It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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