A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize