bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize