Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize