Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize