If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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