just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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