I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
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What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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