You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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