i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize