at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
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We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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