she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize