we have officially lost it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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