were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize