Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tornado booty call.. dedication
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You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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