sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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