I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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