the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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