1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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