No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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