Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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