Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize