I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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