You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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