he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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