I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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