I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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