She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
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Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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