On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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