There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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