guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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